Affluenza: A Very Sorry Excuse

Ethan Couch's victims, from left: Brian Jennings, Breanna Mitchell, Hollie Boyles, Shelby Boyles.

Ethan Couch’s victims, from left to right: Brian Jennings, Breanna Mitchell, Hollie Boyles, Shelby Boyles.

When I was in college, there was a girl who lived on my hall who wished me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and whose words I still remember to this day. I remember them because on the day we came back from winter break, she and a friend were hit by a drunk driver. Neither were wearing seat belts and one was thrown through the windshield, getting scalped by the broken glass. I am graphic, not because I mean disrespect to the families of those two girls nor to those who have lost people in similar sort of accidents, but because there is a very clear reality when one drinks and decides to drive.

The drunk who killed my friend survived, by the way.

That said, I have zero tolerance for drunk driving. So when I heard about Ethan Couch and the affluenza defense, it only said one thing to me: lazy ass parents.

I am not a parent. I have no children in my immediate circles but I know that Ritalin, Monster Energy Drink and whatever money can buy is no substitute for good parenting. I do not believe in violence as a method but I will admit that in my case, it made me listen.

I just don’t see the justification in stealing alcohol from a store, drinking till you are absolutely off your face drunk, taking the lives of four people and critically injuring two who are supposedly your friends, to only do rehab and 10 years of probation. Why is Ethan Couch being handled with kid gloves? Are they afraid he will break? What is this saying to the families of all the people he killed and the so-called friends he has physically injured for life?

What does that say about his values as a person and what his parents taught him?

Personally, I am not a fan but if I could, I would set Nancy Grace on Ethan Couch. For the rest of eternity.

So this January 6, I will remember those two girls who lived on my hall and try to make sure that if I ever run into an Ethan Couch, I will take his keys and give him a backhand slap if he tries to get into a car, drunk off his ass.

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