Stories from the Red Chair: Vag Vibes

I am pretty crap at understanding if a guy is hitting on me, unless he is really forward and says something to the effect of “Hi, I’m married but I still want to screw you.” I say this because although I may have nearsightedness for the obvious, I sometimes receive enlightenment, albeit hours later. And even then, I would wonder, “was he really hitting on me?”

It was the eve of Mexican Independence Day and a couple of friends and I decided to hang out at our watering hole where we always go to. The vibe is really pretty cool and the wait staff are always pretty nice.

I had arrived early and I was served by a waitress I had never seen before. I had a dark beer while I was waiting and when my friends arrived, started in on the tequila.

I had lost a bit of weight last year and I still have some of my old clothes, pants that mostly just hang off my ass, they are so big. But they are comfortable and allow for movement so I haven’t made the decision to throw them out or give them away.

I was sitting on my bar stool when our waitress came up and whispered in my ear, “You look really sexy with your thong showing.”

I laughed and thought it was an indirect way of saying, “Pull your pants up, woman!” and didn’t think much of it.

The tequilas came and I put away five shots plus a freebie for my birthday.

She came up again and said, “You really surprise me, woman. You are so deep-throated!”

By this time, I was pretty buzzed and just laughed it off again.

The next morning, I woke up and for some reason those comments replayed in my mind again and I came to the realization that maybe, just maybe, I was being hit on. And I’m sorry to say it was all wasted on me.


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